Wednesday, September 28, 2016

FALL thoughts...



Have not posted much of late have been posting lots on the political and worldly areas...and have been involved with Nitin Adsul's events here in FLOIRDA U.S.

And have been setting up basket classes as well as signing up for markets and demos.

Thought about deleting this blog yet it seems to say where my life is for now - walking a Kundalini path with in a world that does not really get what Kundalini is all about.  So for now I will keep this blog and share when I can and maybe visit here more often.

Meeting some incredible people in the art world and in the spiritual world.  Many are on a journey all walking different paths in different ways yet seeking fulfillment of self.  It is interesting to see where people go for the support they need.

Some go to writings of old some go to teachers some just hang out - and yet we all get there eventually.  Some paths are easier than others yet no matter how difficult we are a resilient peoples.  We struggle and we learn and we struggle and we learn...

Am so blessed to have lived the life I have.  So grateful to have been given so much.  And perhaps in some small way my life here is giving back to others who are not as fortunate at this time.

Fall is here and am so looking forward to a visit back home - seeing the fall colors is always refreshing and lifts my spirit and of course the fall air is marvelous.

Wishing you all a happy joyful FALL - winter is coming and it will go so bear up life is a change within a change always and forever...

e

https://www.facebook.com/TheWeavist/

Monday, February 29, 2016

Paverville Pavers - service in a different way...


One of the responsibilities of a Kundalini activated/awakened person is to serve others.  Service has many avenues and we each can offer service in a way that benefits others and gives us a feeling of doing what is needed for our process.

Many people offer service to others... One does not have to be in  Kundalini state to do service.  Paverville Pavers is a little different way to help others.  Not all the stones are used for service yet some are.

The stones above are made by a family member.  He developed a way to make pink stones to use as fundraisers and  remembrance stones for breast cancer patients.  He works with some agencies to do fund raisers selling these stones and giving all or a portion of the $ to the agency.  All the stones are made by hand and given a finish that makes the stones shine.

He inserts an angel icon in some of the stones or presses the breast cancer symbol in some or a glass breast cancer symbol in others.  As he develops new sizes and models he still does the stones for cancer fundraisers.

He was commissioned to do a walking rosary for a church in his area.  This is a different way to meditate and pray. You can see the crosses on the FB site that he makes.

Service - a gift to others ...


https://www.facebook.com/pavervillepavers/?fref=ts


Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Consciousness becomes universal...




"As your consciousness and Kundalini reaches the

 heights of the heart  and higher, your consciousness

 will begin to become more universal and you

will find more compassion (at the heart), sweeter and

 kinder words will emerge in your thoughts and

speech (throat) and you will see beyond the

illusion and veil of things (brow)...by being in this

state alone you will affect  the world, perhaps even

without being conscious of it. So just let Kundalini

rise as she will through your practice and meditation

 and both the way you see the world and the effect you

 have on it will dramatically change with your journey"                                                                                                 Raja Choudhury






Today I went to a fund raiser for the senior center and historical society. I have not been out much and it is so good to relate to others. People here are drawn to each other. They share of their lives quite openly and it is so nice to encounter folks who enjoy being with others. In the back of my mind I was aware of my outer presence and was wondering how I came across. I felt peaceful listening to the music and found myself smiling. No hurry no place to go no need to do anything except "be in the moment" When I came home I saw this post above and realized that yes indeed I am a walking K presence. Being in the moment allows me to share my gift of K- others are affected and I have a responsibility to be always mindful of the gift of love. I find there is no need to do anything just "be" MY K does what it does best - loves...( how I see my life at this time...)


Validation...






Today my Shakti Kundalini has allowed me to experience some validation for the path. One event was giving healing to a stanger who actually felt the energy and then when in an office a lady saw my quartz crystal that I wear that has 7 stones of different colors to represent the chakras- she commented on it and then said she saw my aura. The lady I was with asked her what color it was - it ran from tip of finger to tip of finger and was all white.

So I handed her my card and of course asked have you heard of Kundalini - no was the reply but she said she sees people and animals. And she told me about a center that I had heard of - where she goes for readings. And she told me of a store that I did check on - lots of good items.

I do not see energy I do feel it yet to have someone point out my energy is really nice.

The lady I was with asked if she saw her aura and she said no. So in the car I was asked How long have you been into this , I gather you believe in past lives ( from the conversation we were having about seeing entities) she also said she had read of Kundalini in her studies- she is a classical lit prof.

I mentioned that the radiance is enough to heal and that I have to walk with love or others can be affected negatively.

Shakti is on the move again in small ways - As I look about for a place to hold a seminar I am meeting many good folks - some rather testy - yet overall nice is abundant.

Gratitude to Shakti for bringing folks to me who are in need of info.


At the beach...






Today I finally got down to the beach.  There are beach access areas along the shore and I wanted to see how it all works.  And I did.  Just a short jaunt and now I have a better feel for what to do to explore the area.

I was given a few lessons in interesting ways.  Was sitting on the beach and watched an older couple set up their chairs/umbrella/luggage in a cove of trees very close to a beach house.  Now I was wondering that they were really close to the house and it appeared to me that this area was on private property.  Next I looked and a lady came out of the house clearly upset and went over to the couple and told them to leave in a not so nice manner.  So they packed up as the lady walked away shaking her head.
I found this curious and wondered where the property line is on all the houses on the beach.  Then I saw the lady with a shovel moving sand out to the beach area.  Thought perhaps she was filling holes.  I chuckled for it just seemed like a very uncomfortable situation with the lady walking a few feet from the couple carrying sand.
My curiosity moved me to go up to the lady and ask her a few questions.  I discovered that the couple had set up right over her water lines that was what upset her.  And the property line goes all the way to the water’s edge.  Yet the area from the water to the houses is mostly public access. 

Lessons- being cognizant of others space.  Being friendly and asking for info before setting up

Thursday, January 7, 2016

Living the KAS safeties 2 by eshakti...





The postings below are ways that the KAS safeties can become part of one's life...I was with the KAS program for over 8 years - now I am not part of that program.  KAS and its teacher chrism may be listed in some of these posts.  I have tried to delete KAS teachings yet it is not easy and besides - this was my life and is all part of my process....  I am not going to delete the experiences I have had...all written by eshakti...

The safety of movement with a touch of surrender and trust and gratitude…
Am staying at the condo where there is the beautiful pool.  So I went down this morning.  After the procedure yesterday and being on antibiotics for nearly a week and now an over the counter pain pill   I know my body needs some cleaning out and moving.  Am feeling abit “OFF” like not quite there an underlying unease and a dull pain in and around the face where the procedure was.  All normal am sure yet this morning I did wake up feeling rested and good.
While at the pool 2 families with really little kids came down.  Since I tend to talk with everyone I found out the one family lives in the little town where my niece lives.  They don’t know them yet have heard the name. It is indeed a small world.
Am here for the next few weeks I will be going to the pool daily I hope and just allowing my body to heal as well as my soul.  I love being here at the condo – am reminded daily that this is now part of my past.  There are reasons for all agendas I may not like what is given and miss what is given yet in the end it is all for my good. 
It is a constant to remember to surrender, trust and be grateful for all I have.  Am so blessed to have this opportunity to stay in a nice place - there are so many leaving their country with nothing.  I can’t do much for them yet I can send out my joy and happiness that I am blessed. 
Gifting from afar this holiday season.  As K folk seems to me we not only have a responsibility to do service we have a gift that allows us to serve in a very unique manner.  Send a prayer a thought a joyful smile to all in need all over the world.  Sounds like a plan for me this holiday.

The safety of… “Aloneness” or “Loneliness” ???  Not quite…
As I have been writing these safety posts it comes to mind that there are so many other “noble behaviors” as chrism calls the safeties at times.  Some of the safeties encompass other traits such as the safety of LOVE there is compassion kindness acceptance and more.  And then there are unique qualities that one can work on that are not listed in the safeties such as “Aloneness”  and “Loneliness”
Today I am going to discuss “aloneness”  and “loneliness” neither of which are listed as safeties yet seem to be traits that most K folk experience.
There have been times when my entire being wanted “aloneness”  Did not want to be with any one did not want to relate felt distant from everyone and everything.  Was perfectly happy to be apart of alone.  During these times it feels like I am in another world not here in this reality and at this time I seem to observe what is happening.
And there are times like now when my entire being feels “loneliness.”  This to me is feeling apart from everything not wanting to feel apart wanting to be with others yet Shakti Kundalini has another agenda in mind. Family and friends have left or are leaving, people I felt close to are no longer in my field of knowing, people who have hurt me do not want to make nice.
Do you see the difference?  Have you been in either or  both of these situations?  Though neither of these traits are safeties seems to me they would be a great addition to the mix.
Surrendering to either of these is necessary for we often do not get what we want…yet  we get what we need at least we want to think this.  Am not in a happy place at this time – want some interactions with some people who will accept me as I am in all my Kundalini craziness. YET – seems as if that is not to be.  The few that seemed to accept me are not allowed to interact with me.
So am moving along struggling with surrender on a moment to moment basis.  At times it feels I am in a good place at others it does not feel that way.
ALONENESS/LONELINESS all part of the equation …

The safety of LOVE…and service…
Have been going to a restaurant here in town for over 10 years.  Have met some really nice ladies there who are great waitresses.  The last few months there is a young girl there who for some reason  I find interesting.  She is upbeat, friendly loves to talk and very kind.  She makes me smile.
Yesterday she looked abit pregnant of course I did not say anything one never knows for sure and then she told me she was getting married and having a baby in May.  It was great seeing her so happy.
Then I did something I never ever thought I would do- I asked if someone was giving her a shower.  She said her mother in law was and I said I would like to attend- yeah invite myself always a good thing.  Never do I do things like this.  Just felt compelled to be good to her to help her in some way. She and her fella both work yet not at fantastic jobs.  I imagine the $ is tight.
Feels as if Shakti is guiding me here – as she did 8 years ago when the compulsion to download things and move out of the blue.  Have not really processed all the moving I did will probably never really know what it was all about and that is fine.
Have been thinking of what to give this girl something made by me for sure – a baby blanket or a basket or perhaps a cradle if it is a girl.  Seems of late whenever I encounter someone there is some lesson to learn some service to give some knowing to grasp.
This to me is living the safeties – not going out and doing so much as allowing whatever comes to come and then react in a Kundalini manner.
I made a towel for this girl and will be taking it to her this week.  This before I heard of her news.  Others have talked of giving away their art and I find that it feels good to give things away that I make.  There are no expectations – the gift is given – then off I go.
Something so simple as a small gift can make a huge difference to others…
Love and service a true Kundalini way of living.

The safety of trust…
The night chrism gave me this assignment to write daily on a safety I got a headache which I seldom ever get and I felt nauseous.  How am I gonna write each day about how I am following the safeties?  Did not sleep that night and sometime during the night there was a shift.  Decided that I was not gonna worry about this about what to write was going to let Shakti guide me.  That next morning when I sat to write the first post the wording just came.  As it has each day since.  Situations present themselves that allow me to write on.  As I have posted before the safeties become a way of life one becomes the safeties and it is not a matter of thinking about them.  It is a matter of living them walking surrounded by the behaviors.
Some sit and “do” the safeties of forgiveness, recapitulation, gratitude, etc.  If that works or if that is a way to begin to think of them and understand how they are to become part of ones life that is a good way.  However, seems to me it is all about “living the process”  “living the safeties.” 
Just wanted to share how trusting in ones process and the agenda the Shakti has for each of us is a powerful testament to surrendering and to trust.
Thank you Shakti for the guidance…

The safety of love…(i.e. compassion)
Today went to deliver a small gift to the girl at the restaurant that I wrote of the other day the one who is getting married.  Her eyes were full of tears and she seemed really upset.  She did not want to tell me what was wrong so I ordered and chatted just abit.  I wondered if she had had an issue with work. She did like the gift I gave.
This restaurant is owned by a greek couple I have been going there for over 10 years and got to know the lady and really like her.  Never really talked with the fella.  The other day while there the fella was yelling at his workers.  That upset me don’t like to see or hear anyone getting yelled at and I felt it was just inappropriate for him to do it with customers there.
So today the lady owner was there and I called her over and told her how her hubby had yelled at his employees with me there.  She of course apologized.  Havve tried to take a more active role when I see things that just do not seem like good customer service.
The girl came back later and said she was ok and was excited about the shower that will be given for her.  She then sat down and told me that yes indeed she had been talked down to by her employer am not sure if it was the man or the lady.  I did not tell her I had talked to the lady.  She was saying she does not like being treated like a “nothing” like she knows nothing.  I tried to offer some advice about how we have to try to get along even when we feel the other is a jerk.  Told her I can so relate have not totally learned that skill as yet.
I felt badly for her.  Have been in that position often and one feels so hopeless so unworthy.  Just like with the Kundalini there are times when we may feel totally “unworthy.”  We may not understand the why or wherefore of this gift and what is expected of us. And feel we just can’t do what is expected.
For some reason my path has crossed with this girl.  Am going to really make an effort to follow my guidance in regards to her.  It is good for me to be in a position of being able to offer compassion to another.  It brings me out of myself and shows me that others can feel hurt and unsure and in pain.  I do not have a monopoly on all things hurtful.

Compassion a form of love – as we give compassion we grow in love.  Service to others within all the safeties comes back to us in abundance.

The safety of forgiveness…
Was going thru my usual ritual while trying to sleep of thinking of this and that – all of a sudden the phrase :Needy R us”  came to mind.  I smiled knowing that yes this is true.  I like so many who are given the gift of grace that is Kundalini, seem to always need something: an explanation, an understanding, a healing , a feeling of love– we demand this and that and expect answers.
Well that is not how it works all the time.  We sometimes need to just let it all go – not expect not ask not understand and we need to trust and surrender.  At the same time I like others need to forgive myself for the neediness I exude.
Ask and you shall receive becomes ask and you will receive when you are ready to receive.
I forgive myself for being needy …

The safety of love… as seen In xmas movies…
Have always loved xmas movies and am sooooo grateful that I am staying at my old condo and can watch them.  Have been noticing Xmas movies often expouse the safeties in some way.  Not in terms of how we with Kundalini see them yet the sentiment is the same.
Forgiveness is often struggled with in terms of family and friends – sound familiar?  Then there is the being in the moment learning that your decisions of the moment determine the next move – the next step on the path.  Then of course there are the challenges of living a good life- forgiving one’s self -  making the best decision for the time – being honest with those around one – trusting that the universe has a plan for you, etc.  There is a never ending cornucopia of the safeties found in these movies.
As a child I had a great imagination – I lived in two worlds the one of reality and the one of my imagination.  There were many times the two were simultaneously happening.  Someone the other day mentioned how they used to dream of being with Shiva – well as a kid being that I was raised Catholic my boyfriend in my imagination was the perfect fella – the only one who could give me what I needed and desired – my boyfriend was the #one boy – Jesus.  OMG there was never anything of a s&xual nature for I did not know things at that time yet he was there for me made me feel smart important and loved.
Looking back it is a funny memory yet here I am today gifted with the greatest gift in the world and being loved by the Divine both feminine and masculine.  Looking back had I talked with someone who knew about the K path they may have shown some light on my other life.  I never told anyone.  It was private – and I knew that they would not understand just like people do not understand the K.
I needed to feel love so I used my gift of imagination to feel that love.   The movies I watch feed my imagination – these are stories of possibilities.  And as chrism continually says all life has Kundalini significance once one is activated.  The movies show me ways to live the safeties and is that not what it is all about.  Living the “Noble behaviors” as a gifted graced person – a Kundalini person.
Happy Holidays to all no matter what your culture or life style.  Movies are one way I see how the safeties can become a living breathing entity in my life.   And beginning tomorrow Harry Potter – all 8 movies will begin – an other way to see how the safeties are part of living.  IMO

The safety of tolerance…
Today I will be with some friends for dinner.  Being with non K folks is not always easy.  Am thinking of all of us who are with family and friends today while now walking in a new world.  How hard it is to “fit in” and to be cordial and converse.  Am preparing myself by remembering that K is a divine gift and that as I am within the process it is my responsibility to be loving and gracious.
Maybe K will pleasantly surprise me today with allowing me to not think of too many issues that are currently on my plate.  If not I will make it thru as tolerating and cordial as I can be.
Have a joyous holiday to all those who celebrate this time of year.  Sending you good vibes that you will walk the day with tolerance and love.

The safety of Inner Joy…
The dinner last night Christmas Day with friends was so so wonderful.  Just seemed to flow though it and it felt so good.  I laughed which is something I seldom do and do miss it. 
We played a game called Christmas trivia.  Usually I do not do well at these games yet in this one the answers seemed to just come and while that was happening I felt Shakti with me.  It was interesting to be observing myself being given the answers and there was no thinking for most of them – the answer just popped into my head.
I truly miss being with others.  This short time of being with others showed me that indeed I can do OK and that there is a need to at times be around people.  I do enjoy being alone just not all the time and how can one test the waters so to speak how can one see how the safeties are working in ones life if there are not others to bounce things off? 

The holiday season always makes me feel maudlin – it is a time to reevaluate my life and see where I have come in the last year.  Does not look too bad from where I sit- others may disagree yet my path is between me and my Kundalini – how we move along is all about us.

The safety of tolerance and forgiveness…
Here at the condo is a lady who lives year round.  I usually always call her to go out to lunch when I an here.  I told her I would be here over the xmas holidays.  I have tried to see her while here and she is never in.  She has a lady staying with her.  I did drop off a small gift for both of them last night.
Have decided that I will not contact her again.  We really look at things differently and it is better not to have to put on the persona of normalcy IMO.  This is what is happening with all those I know or have known except a few. 
Apparently I am to be alone for now.  At least I had dinner with some folks and will be going out NEW Years eve with them.  Not sure I can stay awake yet will try. 
Have to really look at my life as the new year approaches.  So much to take in and embrace, surrender and let go – the never ending saga of being K active.

The safety of Trust…
This is my opinion …have felt a need to share …
The KA! Group draws people from all over the world.  As members we are not privy to who these folks are or what their motives are.  The admins do a good job of scouting out the negative language – posts of other modalities and teachers – links that have nothing to do with K- links for adverts, etc.
However they can do nothing about anyone who contacts members privately. Just want to post a heads up to all KAS members.  Be very discerning be very careful (especially you young nice looking ladies) there are predators out there and they will do what they do.
Like me many of you were raised to be polite and not shun anyone for who they are where they live how they look, yet in this age of everything is public- one needs to be very careful.

If someone from KAS asks me a direct ? I may answer it if I know the answer or if they do not feel right I do not answer or I send them back to the group or I send them on to my favorite admn. I will not start up any conversations with people especially the men unless I know they are a strong member and I have even asked about certain people.

I am here to tell you – trust your K.  If someone feels wrong then go with it- do not let old trainings of “be nice” put you in a not so nice situation.  It is ok to tell someone to leave you alone – it is ok not to answer them - you can block them – you can certainly report any negative or aggressive behavior to an admin or to chrism. 
Situations are not discussed openly and so in my mind that leaves some of us open to not so good situations.  As a Kundalini man/lady you have a responsibility to keep your vessel and your environment clean and open to the gifts.  If others are doing a number on you then you have a responsibility to take charge and trust what you feel.
Yes I know sometimes these situations are lessons and learnings however take care of yourself be strong and discerning.  Some folks have been hurt by falling back on “be nice.” chrism always says that we need to be discerning in all areas of Kundalini – seems like this falls under that teaching. 

The safeties …
Resurrected   this after reading that someone is struggling with whether to be silent or write…abit wordy read if so inclined…
You do have something to say…
I have been wanting to address this issue for a long time. In my correspondence with various members I find that so many folks - it seems are concerned that what they have to say is meaningless or they are not saying it well. And there is a concern that what is said will be harmful to the group or is not acceptable.

The KAS site houses an open forum where members can share and be honest and free  to express their concerns events and questions. I have said this before and will again - the members here are phenomenal in their presentations of thoughts, words and writings of stories. Each of us has an unique style - each says things in a personal and in a cultural manner. Whether we are discussing diet, the safeties, ideas, thoughts, concerns or anything if it is important to you - it is ok to post.

The only guidelines are that one write with courtesy, showing respect to all others and within the safeties - being accepting of all opinions and views presented with tolerance forgiveness and gratitude.

How you present is not important - it is the fact you are saying it and what you say from your heart that is.

It is difficult to discuss things in person often-- here on the web it is even more difficult - there are no facial cues no body language so we rely on our interpretation of words which come from our cultural and educational perspectives.

I too at times am concerned about how I come across - here we are not only speaking with words but with our unique energy signatures. I know mine is blunt and can feel rough - I do try to temper this by using the safeties as my guide.

So here is the bottom line- chrism gives this group his loving presence and offers us a place to share our Kundalini experiences without worrying too much about how others will react. Yes there are times when our feelings get hurt or we get bent out of shape by what someone is saying especially when the words go against our personal beliefs that we so adamantly hang on to.

Some say that how we react is the seeing of ourselves in the other. So if one sees no tolerance in others then that is coming from within ourselves. If one sees pride in others that is a reflection of ourselves. I know this for I am very good at projecting my feelings and inadequacies onto others.

Would not it be wonderful if we did not have to use words - if we could look into each other’s eyes and see the truth of self - the divine within – there would be no need for words- but alas we are many hundreds or thousands of miles separated. The only mode of communication is words so there is an added need to use our integrity, use the safeties of tolerance, forgiveness, gratitude, love, trust, honor and respect when posting. As long as we keep these in mind what we say will be important and helpful to others.

I find that Shakti guides me in my writings- the words flow easily and truthfully as long as I keep love and service to others in mind.

And we also have the support of the group who offer love and service when needed. I feel so blessed to be part of this loving community.

Do you have anything to say?? YES YES YES you do have much to say - each of us has lived a life time of stories - we have learned and been tested in oh so many ways we can help each other by sharing these events with honesty and love.

I honor all of you who are willing to share yourself and your inner anguish, your lessons, your tests, your ?'s, your love, tolerance, forgiveness, honesty, trust, surrenderings, joy, etc.

It does not matter to me how you write or how it is said - I read between the lines and allow for the distance caused by the internet. You all have so much to offer - so much to share and so much to give to each of us.

Please feel good about you - for there is only one you and you are graced with Kundalini Shakti - she chose you - she is within you and what you have to say is flowing from her thru you.

Be brave my little caterpillar - you wiggle with grace.

Love to all my KAS family ; May your light shine through your words with love…


The safety of surrender…

The area where the root canal on my tooth was worked on has been feeling irritated and the gums are swollen.  This is how it began to feel before I had the procedure so am abit concerned.  Am going to have it checked by the surgeon.  Am hoping this visit is included in the fee for the procedure. 



All my life I have prayed that I can keep my teeth unlike my parents who lost all their teeth.  I take care of them although lately with $ issues it is not as good as it needs to be.  With the issues chrism had I knew there was a chance I too would have teeth problems.  As he says K can heal or K can mitigate loss.  Yeah I get that.

Whatever happens I am open to being OK with teeth or without.  Know that I have done my best to care for them so will feel good either way.

Everything is given as tests or lessons and with the teeth for me there are many lessons I can walk away from or with.

The safety of service…
I went to a meeting to see the ins/outs of cremation yesterday.  Have been interested in setting up a plan for when I pass so no one has to be responsible for any issues. Attended with a friend – she was ready to buy I have to save for the deposit and then make monthly payments.  Am going to make this part of my new year $ plans.
We had the best time.  Two old broads talking about dying and how we do not want anyone to have to set things up or pay for anything.  How many people can sit and joke and laugh about dying?  Neither of us are too concerned about the end of life.  Other than we want things in order.
We both have some ideas of what we think of the whole death industry.  I had called a funeral parlour a few years ago about cremation and was told that when cremated you still have to buy a plot buy a casket lead lined and be buried.  That is not true of course I did not know this at the time.
The ashes can be scattered according to what you want. This company has a boat that goes out once/month and scatters the ashes in the ocean and then a lovely glass plaque is presented to the family as to the time/place of the sea burial.  I had a good laugh at that – who would want that setting on the desk?  And they send everyone a memento box where you can put things you want the family to have – nix that – yes for some it is all nice and rosy and people want to hang on to something.  I have never been a sentimentalist over things.  And as a K lady attachment to things is just not the way to go.  And yet I realize some family or friends may need something to remember some by.  Since I have no mate no kids no one other than siblings it just makes sense to have the least amount of hoopla as possible.
As a society I wish we would discuss death and how it really is all a part of living. 
Anyhow – I see setting up this plan as a service to those who may end up having to be there at my passing or actually after the passing.
One thing that this company offers as a service is if you sign up and have kids the kids if they pass can be cremated free up to the age of 21.  Now this guy said this has not been utilized much at all however what a nice service.  Sometimes it is really hard for some when a family member passes but when it is a child it is really hard so it is nice to not have to set things up.
Thinking about dying brings up a whole lot of looking at ones life. 
I don’t dwell on it just all part of the process of living and just thought of the fact as K lady my ashes will be K radiated so wherever they land they will be good for the place yes???  And I am not morbid about it all…
It was really nice to sit and laugh and joke about our passing.  And oh yes I really need to clean house get rid of things so no one has to go thru all my clutter.  That is my new years plan – clean out and declutter.
Service comes in many hues – planning ones funeral is a great service to others.
 “We walk with the light of our halos to shine our way leaving luminous sign posts by virtue of our integrity and actions of love that others may follow, as we follow the signs left by those who have gone ahead of us. Luminous footprints.” –chrism
Die happily and look forward to taking up a new and better form.  Like the sun, only when you set in the west can you rise in the east.  ~ Jelaluddin Rumi ~

The safety of surrender,,,
Am getting rather gabby – sorry just easier to tell stories with lots of words and images…
Went to a New Years eve dinner.  Was so looking forward to it and it was a very different experience.  I was thinking nice dinner where we could talk or whatever.  The venue was outside – apparently they do big events weddings  and such all outside sometimes using tents but tonight everything was out in the open. 
As we arrived it started to rain – yes a hard rain so we went to a small bldg where they were having snacks.  We then proceeded to the tables.  Everything was soaked- the tables the chairs.  We found a table that was kind of under a tree yet we held umbrellas to keep out the rain.  I had a shawl and it got soaked which meant later as it cooled down I got cold.
I was very proud of myself thoughts kept going thru my head how really not fun this was however my friend had paid for the whole table – I felt badly for her because here she was giving a lovely gift and it was not turning out as well as she had thought.  I however kept my thoughts to myself which I normally do not do.
We sat for quite a time waiting – the rain eventually stopped and then the servers came around and stripped the lovely table cloths put on dry ones and new napkins.  We all helped.  As I was thinking this is really not a way to run an event.  I have set up many big events and always there needs to be a back up for outside events.  After asking I found out they just go with whatever when the weather acts up.  That is fine and well yet when people are paying for things – well the drinks were all included and people were getting into the alcohol thing- not me..
This was so outside my comfort zone – wet bottom wet clothes smoke you can not believe -there were a number of e-cig smokers filling the area with volumes of smoke.  And then there was the music – am always very sensitive to sounds and this so called music was so loud my teeth jittered.  It made it next to impossible to talk to anyone - I did find a napkin and put some in my ears that helped a lot.  It reminded me of the rave I took chrism to.  Alex Grey was in San Francisco and I thought it would be nice to see him do his art.  WRONG- I had never been to a rave and never want to again.  The venue was closed loud music that they kept turning up and my body was assaulted to the point of pain.  Grey came and signed his work – chrism was in line to meet him and Alex left before chrism got to the table.  Then we went to the area where Grey was to paint he did not come and we ended up leaving – still am trying to figure out what that was all about.
We finally got the food which was really good.  I am very grateful that my friend invited me for it means a lot however my body is still in recovery from the atmosphere I was in for 5 hours.
Was thinking about those going to Peru.  That is not a trip I would want to take- heat bugs snakes possibly no showers bus rides with the gasoline smell – yuck- I would be miserable.
Have been told that I am too into wanting comfort – well yes I am see no need to assail my body with noise smoke being wet or eaten alive.  Give up comfort (yes I have some) yet there is a limit to what I will do for now.  Have read where one of the big name teachers went into Samadhi and he sat in a room as rats chewed on him until a lady came who eventually married him – she saved him.  Well not ready for that…
I figure my New Year is gonna be really good as I ended 2015 with such a challenging situation.  Have a lot of ideas of things I want to do this year.  Will see how I fair.
Do have a Lovely first day of 2016-I will be 68 this month- never ever thought I would make it this far.  And it is not so bad – still moving about still have my mind in tact ( kind of ) and still have a lovely imagination that is very helpful with the K and oh yes I am K active – what better way to live in a new year.
So surrender trust tolerate and be grateful… A few of the basics of Kundalini.  Thank you chrism for being the guide for so many including me. And thank you Shakti for giving your son the tools needed to guide us.
Happy Kundalini New Year…

The safety of patience…
There is a fella who lives on my floor.  We say hello in passing.  He seems like a nice man.  Was funny one day I was at the farmers market and he was there with his grandson – I said hello and the grandson said its his birthday today.  OK so Happy Birthday!!!  Why he wanted to tell me have no idea.
So the other day I rode the elevator with this man and he insisted he had something to show me.  We went to his apt and he began to show me the things his daughter has made for him – a tree out of beads that lights up , a towel crocheted like I do, some cards she sent, a painting etc.  He said she is the only kid that keeps in touch and he was very proud of her.
I found this action of wanting to show me his treasures rather touching.  There are things I would like to share with someone and there is no one. It reminded me that there are so many seniors who do not have anyone – we live alone we spend lots of alone time and do not have community since so many of us moved here from some other place.  Some find solace in being part of card players, bingo, dinners… most of the men do not participate.  Cant blame them who wants to be with a bunch of old biddies.  The men keep to themselves and the ladies (not all) seem to gravitate to others of course they love to discuss everything and anything that comes up- often getting upset over what is said. 
Lesson for me – be patient and be more friendly – a little hello does not cost me anything and can mean a lot to someone who has no one.  And keep to myself so I don’t get caught up in all the hoopla that seems to go on around here. 
Living with seniors requires one whole lot of patience…
Safety of patience….
Tested again today.  Went to do laundry and a lady came in  - people tend to want to visit in the laundry when all I really want to do is read.  So she kept talking to me – found out  lots about her.  Seniors like to talk about themselves.  She is 78 still works retired from Verizon and worked in the DMV – is now lining up appts for some agency.  78 and still working – she says they like her so much she makes her own schedule. Found out what floor she is on that she is battling a smoker on her floor – this is a smoke free bldg yet people still sneak their smoking – how the new manager is better he is keepin on top of things that there is a 3 strike your out here on infractions- wow – what a storehouse of info.
Was very happy to finish and can now have some quiet to read.  Being patient wears on me – I enjoy discussions not monologues all the time.
For some reason I am here am hoping for a job soon if allowed.  As chrism stated on the radio show – Kundalini will decide if one works or not.  I have worked only 1 ½ years in the past 8.  Am ready to get back and see if I can handle being with others.  And of course am ready to bring in some $ that will be a treat.
Am looking forward to seeing the first episode of Downton Abbey tonight for the final season.  Have been looking forward to it.
Have a great day … remember your patience 

The safety of trust…
Feel very off today – like walking in another world – when this happens as it does at times just going with it and accepting that it is part of the process is best for me.  I trust that the Kundalini will take care of me and all will be well.
Have been making phone calls all morning taking care of the daily stuff we all go thru.  Things seem to always have a catch.  The day will go as it will.

Trust trust trust… mantra for the day

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Living the KAS safeties...by eshakti


The postings below are ways that the KAS safeties can become part of one's life...I was with the KAS program for over 8 years - now I am not part of that program.  KAS and its teacher chrism may be listed in some of these posts.  I have tried to delete KAS teachings yet it is not easy and besides - this was my life and is all part of my process....  I am not going to delete the experiences I have had...all written by eshakti...

The safety of Tolerance…

Today was doing laundry – the people here where I live are all over 62… many in their 80/90’s.  The laundry room is a small area where people tend to chat while waiting.  The lady today was 88 she was into talking so I had to remind myself to listen and let her talk.
It is rather funny to realize exactly what one is doing within a safety.  As we get older some of us do not have family or many friends people here are often stuck in with no way to go anywhere…  listening is a way to make life abit less lonely…

The safety of Surrender...

When the K arrived I was living in a lovely condo with a beautiful view. It felt very much like Florida. My sister and I owned it. With K I lost my job so my sister took over ownership. I still get to stay there at times. Will be staying there for a few weeks in the next months. Whenever I am there I remember my life before the K. I miss it – I miss the condo – the life. Each time as I enjoy being there I renew my surrender to the grace of my Kundalini. Not in a position where I like what happened as yet however each surrender moment brings me closer where full acceptance will arrive. 
Surrender is an ongoing task. It does not happen all in one situation it is a renewal of letting go of expectations. For me it is step by step of accepting my life as it is now in the hands of K. Surrender gives one a freedom to step out of the way and just be. At times I have that feeling of freedom – still working toward a full on feel of freedom…

 The safety of Prayer...

I find when I wake up or when going to bed the Shakti prayer comes to mind.  I always say it 3 times and sometimes 9 times.  If I wake up in the middle of the night the prayer is there.  For me it brings Shakti close…it is one way to keep a constant connection to her.
During the day I find myself talking with her about things sometimes little silly things other times a deeper topic.  This is when my intuition kicks in.  Connections are made and later validated.  Often it feels as if she is taking care of me in a very tangible manner. 

The safety of Forgiveness...

Was sitting in a restaurant and overheard a lady talking about what airlines they fly out of and the boat they have the trips they take.  Here I sit living check to check reminded of the choices I made – not ones that offer any ease or abundance in my life at this point.
Often have to forgive myself for not paying attention for not having the drive that my sisters had for not really thinking about my future.  My family never discussed careers or how to live well and how to save for the future.  We lived check to check for years.  After retirement though things got better for my parents.  Not so for me. 
Yes it is best in  a Kundalini context to surrender to trust to be grateful for where we are in our process.  Yet when I see others doing what I desire well it is not that easy to surrender to trust to be grateful. 
So I work to forgive myself – I made bad choices and am paying for those choices.  Maybe this is my karma playing out—not so much fun at times.
OK forgive and move on…forgive and move on … forgive and move on

The safety of Patience...
When the K arrived the joy was incredible – I did not want it to leave and yet it did.  Sometimes what we want is not what we are given.  At those times one needs to accept the ebb/flow the yes/no knowing that the timeline is not ours it is K’s timeline.
My patience comes and goes.  It is a never ending wave of waiting and then being impatient.  Lets get this show on the road – lets make it happen when what really is needed is Patience –This applies to many issues with the K. 
I know I have spent lifetimes preparing for this gift of grace.  So really why the hurry???  One or two more will not make much difference.
Be patient and the K knows what is needed.  Gotta remind myself of this.

The safety of Trust...

I remember when first encountering the safeties I kept asking “How does one do…Trust – Forgiveness – honesty – etc…?” Others can share how they handle each one yet we all need to find what works for us. 
I have not been diligent with the safeties – I do them for a time then go off to other things… Yet I know they are a good basic platform to the balance needed to walk this path.
The other day was sharing with a friend and we discussed how sometimes doing the safeties does not feel right. There is not much of a connection with certain ones.
She said she had been told once in another situation to fake it til you not only make it but til you “become” it. This to me was one of those A- HA moments. 
I remember when chrism told me when first doing Devotion to do it= follow the others even if it does not” feel” right. Then eventually you will know and feel the devotion. This has been the case.
Yet I really like the idea of not just doing each safety but becoming it – living it – breathing it – seeing it – hearing it – tonally immersing oneself into the essence of each one. It takes a huge leap of faith and trust to walk the K journey. K takes everything changes everything and we lose ourselves as we know ourselves. Living and breathing each safety takes trusting in the K that all is as it should be.

The safety of Honesty...

Being honest with oneself is not easy when K comes calling. All ones negative thoughts, feelings, actions come up and out and can throw one into a tail spin. That has happened to me. Always knew I had issues yet not to the point where it seems my best place is alone and away from others. 
Have been looking at who I am and how I am – know things about myself and am accepting these traits. Once they are identified it may be easier to work on them or let them go.
The safeties are not done in one sitting- it takes time and time again to go over things and to be honest I don’t feel it ever ends… There are always issues to work on until one reaches total immersion with the “one.” 
Working working working…

 The safety of Inner Joy...

Today I met with a KAS member that I have been chatting with for a long time. Kundalini brought us together and meeting was for me like saying hello to an old friend. There was no hesitation – just an openness and sharing that one does not find with some.
My self felt very cared for and blessed that for a few moments I had someone who knew about the K and was open to sharing the daily living with the K. 
Feeling Inner Joy at the same time longing for someone locally to share the process with. Being alone and walking the path alone is necessary however it is wonderful to walk at times with a fellow K person.
Thank you for coming for a visit I do hope we can get together again soon. You are a blessed sacred person and I am so happy to know you.

 The safety of Devotion...
As chrism often writes we here in the west do not really seem to understand “Devotion.”  This may be true for some yet those who are active in a religious organization, a monastery, a spiritual community do know what devotion is and make it part of their way of life.
My upbringing was as a Catholic.  We not only attended mass every Sunday but when I went to the Catholic school mass was every day.  I remember loving the Latin mass.  In 7/8 grade I was one of 4 who sang the mass responses in Latin.  I absolutely loved the music, the words, being in the choir loft in a state of worship.
Had forgotten the feeling had forgotten the love I felt deep within for the Divine, until Devotion was presented to me by chrism.  Had prayed daily had lived walking in love of the Divine and yet Devotion at the feet of a teacher was strange.  It did not take me long before I fell into the arms of the Divine in devotion.
When being devotional I feel I am home – more so when at the feet of my teacher.  This is an honored activity in some cultures.  Devotion within the Kundalini becomes an everyday activity if one surrenders to the process.  chrism has a pic that we refer to as the healing pic.  This is used by some for devotion.  The practice is called Trataka.  One can look at the pic saying a mantra or praying = whatever feels right to you or whatever the teacher directs one to do.. 
When I first started doing the Trataka practice I could not look at the pic without crying.  Then there were times it became more comfortable then at others times the crying comes strong and deep.  The same thing happened when at the feet of my teacher – tears --- copious amounts of tears. I never questioned the tears just accepted them as part of the practice.
chrism also had us listen to a recording that set me into a deep devotional state.  Today when I hear a few chords of that song  my tears begin.  Love the feeling the song brings.
Am very grateful I have experienced devotion within my process.  As chrism suggested fake it til you feel it—it is a wonderful way to surrender to the K process.

The safety of programming...

Have not had issues with this safety as yet.  Remember when I was in CA and chrism and I would go to a movie – it was usually some violent shoot ‘em up show.  Being that I was just in the beginning of my activation often wondered why he would take me to these.  Maybe because I was with him there would be no effect.  And there wasn’t.
Since then I do watch TV shows that have violence and so far have not had any ill effects.  To me they are shows/movies not real.  My dreams have not been affected.  Sometimes when I see things on TV /movies I remind myself that this is a not real and say to myself this is not gonna affect me.  And for the most part I am able to take the pic right out of my minds eye.
At some time there may be some residual I don’t know.  I prefer non violent shows yet I do enjoy the investigative ones – have been known to cover my eyes as I did when a kid so I don’t see the yucky parts.
Have not had many violent dreams only a few that were to date rather mild and the bad parts were about others not me… even had a dream where a huge bat was attached to chrism’s back and he was trying to get it off. 
have no idea how that ended never got the see the ending.
To me the idea is to surround oneself with love and kindness – then there is less chance of things affecting one. If our radiance is one of negativity then that is what will be sent to those around us.
So “keep it clean, nice and loving”  so to speak. 

The safety of service... 

When I describe the KAS program I state that it is based on love and service. chrism is a wonderful role model for this safety. Since around 2006 he has devoted himself to others guiding them in their Kundalini journey.
When I first met chrism my guidance was very strong to support he and the KAS program. My service involved setting up and financing seminars, keeping track of the writings of chrism, posting in support of members, doing whatever I could to further assist chrism and his vision of supporting others. It has been 8 years now since becoming a KAS member. The joy and happiness I have experienced serving others has been beyond anything ever known by me.
At one of the seminars after I received the Shaktipat one of the members saw blue flames coming out of my head. chrism said that it was the Bodhisattva. I looked this up and discovered that a Bodhisattva helps others reach their realization before walking into theirs. All of a sudden there was some meaning for my being with chrism and KAS and my hesitation and reluctance to be too concerned about my journey of K. This may not be the correct definition of a Bodhisattva yet it makes sense to me.
Service is a big deal... huge in the scheme of things. Whatever one gives is received back in abundant ways. That is if the service is given freely and with no expectations. I encourage all to find a service that feels right to you. A smile - opening a door - working with animals - helping with the food programs - sitting in a hospital and allowing your radiance to engulf those in need - being nice when someone is being a jerk... There is no end to what we can do to serve others.
Here on the groups we mention often how one's sharing and stories are a service to others and this is so true. I have been helped over and over by others telling of their journey.
chrism often states to do service to help with the process - it helps for any number of issues... For me it keeps me grounded and sane within the process. No matter what state of mind I am in I continue to do service --- it is a saving grace for me...

The safety of the locks…
The first thing chrism recommends is the tongue up lock (“This completes the cranial circuit allowing excess energy to bleed down the sides of the neck.”  chrism)  By placing the tongue behind the teeth on the fleshy part of the mouth the energy is grounded so the top of the tongue will not be burned.  I found myself doing this all the time and still do.  Sometimes it amazes me that that it is there when I bring my attention to it. 
The finger locks are really a great way to keep the energy flowing in a good manner.  It is suggested that whenever one can keep the lock inplace.  This can be difficult when one is using the fingers yet If you are mindful when sitting or walking when not using the hands you can use the finger lock.
For me it is becoming more and more difficult because of my arthritis.  I have found a way to bring the thumb into my fist that feels really good.  There are other locks that I might be able to do have not tried them as yet.
The eyes up lock is used for meditation.  This lock never felt comfortable for me – chrism always said one gets used to it – I have not.  It gives me an eye  ache and headache.
There are many ways that help with the energy flow.  chrism offers members what they need to keep the energy flowing positiviely.

The safety of recapitulation...
Recapitulation to me is looking at each situation where someone has hurt you and seeing things from their perspective.  Going over what was said, done and all the feelings involved gives one an opportunity to forgive and forget.  This is not done in one sitting usually yet can be done continually and new insights will appear.
When forgiveness is needed it weighs on me and I go over what happened in great detail.  Since moving into a senior apt bldg there are many situations that come before me.  Older folks for the most part are very set in their ways and have no filters when they say things. and oh yes they have opinions on everything even when they have no experience of the situation at hand.  My way of handling this is to keep a distance so I will not react when they go off.  However sometimes I get caught in the web just riding the elevator or walking out the door.
So I go over what happens and try to remember that these folks are old they have lived a long life and yes we all have our idiosyncrasies… Then the next time I encounter any one of these folks I smile – and tell myself to “let it go – let it go – let it go”

And I am forced to remember that I am old – I have to watch how I look at things and not fall into the no filter verbiage. And to remember I can change how I react.
This is just one small aspect of recapitulation.  I am sure others see it much differently but for me – it is an ever ongoing learning task.  You need to find what works for you and do that.  Writing out the situation works for some – I used to do this not any more.  Writing has left for now.

Letting it go and letting it go…

The safety of Movement...

Move that BODY! Move that BODY! By chrism

“Do what you can to move yourself. Dance or run or walk or play with your friends (human and otherwise). Move with your partner and if you dont have one open yourself to having one. Make yourself your partner. Make the Kundalini your partner! Have relations! Have relationship! This IS your exciting and wonderful life. Move that body and move those five bodies and get yourself going!

Have s&x. Have lots of s&x. With "love"" and with "grace". Men contain your fluids, women release your fluids! Create with these divine impulses. Start a project and see it through to completion. Make love with your life. Walk with a confident knowing of the energies swishing and moving through and through you. Move your hips and move your heart.

Walk in loving embrace of your life and feel its force of expression within you. FEEL your love and the love of the divine moving itself through you. Help this movement by stretching your boundaries and moving to the beat of the grace within. - moving with you! “- chrism

I absolutely hate to exercise…except if in water.  When I lived at the condo I would go every day to the pool early and had a routine that moved all my joints then I would come back and do a 20 min yoga program.  That went on for a time as do all things I attempt.
Now there is no pool where I live so the yoga exercise is what is done.  Not all days but most days.
Of course the past few days I was at the condo where I used to live and so the pool was my early morning visit and I will be there about 3 weeks before xmas so I will be hitting the pool daily.  It feels so good to get going but only if it is something I enjoy otherwise exercise is more like torture.
There are public pools that I tend to stay away from because I am not sure how the pool is taken care of. I am so looking forward to my time at the condo at the end of the month.  Am hoping it spurs me on to do the yoga on a more routine basis.
Being older the body starts tightening up and then pain show up and it does not end it is an ongoing situation.  Movement does help with the physical but also with the other five bodies --- mentally, spiritually, emotionally and psychologically.  As chrism says “Walk in loving embrace of your life and feel its force of expression within you.”  Imagine if we all followed that guidance...

The safety of Gratitude...
This safety comes so easily have always known that my life was blessed in ways that often I do not see.  Never had a lot but always had what I needed.  The difference now with the K is that I verbally say and try to show my gratitude.  This for me is done by sending a prayer to Shakti Kundalini when something nice happens even some small thing like finding my keys or when it rains ( love the rain.)  Showing Gratitude can also be in small ways. 
I fractured my knee cap a few years ago.  I could not drive and was on a walker for a long while.  The fact that I can walk around without a walker or a cane gives me a whole lot of ways to show gratitude.  I hold open the door for people, take a friend to the store, sweep down the stairs at the condo, pick up trash when I see it, offer a smile when seeing someone, etc.
Gratitude to me is one of the safeties that can be so much of a service to others.  Working thru gratitude you can offer loving service to others.

The safety of grounding...
Have never had copious amounts of energy so grounding for me has not been an issue.  However I do eat root veges and meat and do my exercises in the nude but am inside. 

The driving for me does take me out of my monkey mind for mindfulness sets in. And exercising with yoga or pool yoga is very helpful for me.

Am very grateful that chrism writes on the ways to live with Kundalini.  If and when my energy kicks in I have some idea of what to do… being in nature seems to work for most.

You can find the article on grounding in the files section of some of the groups.  It can be very helpful.

The safety of gratitude...
Went to the chiropractor for a few issues.  Was told that the numbness tingly feeling in my arm and hand is from a pinched nerve in the upper part of my neck.  This makes sense to me.  He said that if it was not taken care of the muscles in the hand would be affected and it would take a long long time to recover.  Really like this guy he has helped me in a number of ways.
He suggested I come in next week 3 times. I pay a copay for each visit.  When I told him I just cant afford this he said come in anyway you need to get on this.  As much as it pains me not to pay for a service I will be going next week. 
When these things happen it seems to amaze me yet the happen so very often.  I will be giving this dr a basket and a few towels that I make.  There are folks into bartering and this makes so much sense to me…

As I said before gratitude opportunities come one’s way without looking.
Feeling grateful for the gifts of grace that are sent my way.

The safety of Inner Joy...

To chrism…
I find my inner joy when researching the posts and articles of teaching by chrism, reformatting them for publication and finding publishers for these articles. I also find inner joy when matching articles for teachings to the various posts. When reading the archives I often get lost in the teachings. I don’t want to stop- I feel so very honored and humbled to be given the words of Shakti you write.
I find: Forgiveness – Recapitulation - Inner Joy - Honesty - Gratitude - Surrender - Trust - Prayer - Patience – Love - Service - Devotion in all your teachings. I find poetry in all your teachings. I find Shakti in all your teachings. And I find real heart to heart love in all your teachings.
A post revisted…

The safety of Trust...
Some have a direct line to their Kundalini. It can manifest in a number of ways.  For me I find when I sit and write there is a divine connection with my Kundalini.  Sometimes when I write I do not remember what I write as chrism has stated ( he does not remember some of the teachings he writes) for it is his  Kundalini that is guiding him in what he says.
Another way that my Kundalini communicates with me is when I seek KAS teachings to accompany topics or comments by members.  I do not have a photo graphic mind.  My Kundalini guides me to teachings that will help and support others in their process.
This is not something I ask for yet it involves trusting my Kundalini.  Sometimes I just search thru the teachings and things pop out and then I know this is something that is needed to be seen by some members.
With Trust, surrender and devotion one becomes free of having to use the monkey mind to walk this journey.  Sometimes it feels like I am floating along not knowing where it is I am headed.. yet knowing that I am being cared for.
 The safety of Love...
A fella rolled down his window this morn to tell me my tire was nearly flat.  OK so how long can I drive on it?  had an appt so called my mechanic – Oh how I love to say that “My mechanic “  this is a fella who is 70 has had a garage for years has a super reputation and is kind and considerate and does a good job without charging way too much.  He also will take me whenever I have an issue.
I feel he has my back… has for nearly 20 years.  He is conservative with the care of autos he checks. Which I like.
So I went there they put air in my tires –  tires lose air when the weather changes ( it has been cooler of late here ) so any way am all set and was told to bring the car in anytime to have the tires checked.  I am some what paranoid about my tires.  Just got 2 new ones from them.  I try to support them all I can.
So was taking to “my mechanic “and told him how much I tell others about him and how nice he is and he said you are nice too.  Was not looking for a complement. Yet it felt good.
Do we tell others when we like them or when they do something nice?  Have been working on this… with the holidays am making my crocheted towels that I love to make and giving them away to those who have touched me in a special way.
Today gave the chiropractor who is giving me some free care a basket I made and a towel – gave his receptionist a towek the other day.  He was thrilled – she was thrilled and I felt good to be able to offer something tangible yet a kind word can often be enough.
Am gonna round up some donuts ( yes know it is not a good thing for some)  but the mechanics love them… it will be my thank you for the service they give me whenever it is needed.
We who have Kundalini activated have a gift that gives to others without any effort on our part- the radiance that we exude.  Just walking by others or standing by others they are gifted with grace from our Kundalini.  Going the next step and verbally saying something – the Shakti rides the voice as chrism has said… and I don’t think she only rides chrism’s voice- I feel she comes thru all of us when we speak.  Then of course the next step is giving something tangible… that is always fun and just think as chrism has said the Kundalini is sticky- so when you touch an item and then pass it on you are passing on sticky K… how about that? 
So many ways to give and the Kundalini just keeps on giving.
The safety of love...

as seen thru the eyes of another...
Every day an old man pulls up in his big white truck down by the water. He brings food for the gulls. Many cars pull up in the same spot but the gulls know his car and know he is there for them.
It makes me smile to see this old fella giving to the birds. I have not been around animals for a while and I do love the birds. I can feel his joy in giving. Can the feelings of the safeties be shared? Seems to me they can.

The safety of forgiveness...

Yesterday while sitting in an office someone said my name and I looked up to see a lady I had worked with many years.  She actually worked for me and I thought we were friends.  We shared a lot.
When I lost my job we met only once afterwards. After I met chrism we had lunch and she was not happy with my plans to move out to CA – she was very critical which surprised me for she had always been open and non judgmental.  She was Buddhist raised but not really of any religious following. Her response and then lack of contact hurt greatly.
So I see her after 8 years and I felt nothing – absolutely nothing… she was cordial and said I looked good and we chatted –I felt obliged for  my upbringing says “be nice”  so in a detached manner I was..
Have been wondering how I would respond if I encountered someone from that work situation.  Only 2 people from the entire community remained my friends – all the others dropped me.  That was an extreme fragmentation phase for me very painful. 
And yet I had no emotional response and have not dwelled on her or the situation at all.  Just a curious “Well that was strange” 
When the past is brought up it is again a chance for me to forgive… I do not like what happened in the situation and do not like how others walked away yet they had to do what was best for them and I don’t have to let it hold me or have to like it. And I know it was all part of my process – a very painful part – time can heal some wounds and time and understanding for me makes it abit easier to distance myself from the activation phase.
Forgiveness is an ongoing safety that seems to pop up in so many places…from the past hurts to the present lack of funds to the loss of people and the feelings of aloneness… all opportunities to walk the safety of forgiveness…

The safety of compassion – a form of love...

Keep coming across behaciors that I feel would be good safety traits like compassion.  Although compassion is a form of love truly.
There is a lady in my bldg that is really nice – we hit it off as so often happens and we enjoy discussing all topics openily and honestly.  She has less $ than I do so often I offer to take her to lunch or other places with out expectation of repay.  She doe not like that at all. We come from a generation where people pay their own way and if given a gift usually will want to return a gift.
So I don’t offer much because ti makes her uncomfortable however I enjoy company get so tired of always being alone when I go out.
Today I asked her to lunch and told her I don’t want a repay just share some time with me.  She is still not able to do this. So she came up with wanting to make me a Korean bear.  She loves anything about Korea and there is a bear apparently that is traditionally given I believe for special events.  Anyhow I said I really do not need anything but my niece is having a baby so maybe you could make one for her.  So there we go – I paid for her lunch and she is making a gift for my niece.
Many old folks do not have much $ to do anything extra.  I don’t have much yet seem to have abit more than some.  And I don’t mind sharing. To me it is about showing compassion showing love of others by sharing what I have. 
It took me a long time to be able to accept gifts from others because of the” I pay my way attitude.”  Now I will accept gifts and do not feel that I need always to repay.  Sometimes people need to give – I have pointed this out to chrism a few times.  Sometimes it is hard for him to accept gifts and I say perhaps others need to give to you so by not accepting you are not allowing others to do what they have a need to do- to give to serve.
Living to me in this reality is a give/take and we all need to allow others to follow their process guidance.  Just my thoughts here. 
Did enjoy the sharing today and will surely enjoy the bear.

The safety of surrender...

Have mentioned I feel I am In another fragmentation phase of the process.  Everything is changing and everyone seems to be leaving on their own or I am being directed to leave them out of my life.  Have had a person that I have been depending on when there was an issue or I needed some help.  That person just told me that they will no longer be there for me.
OK- that is a big shocker… now I have no one as back up no one to ask for help.   Don’t know how others feel yet being I am in the older state of life I would really like to know there is someone who has my back and if something happened to me then they would step in and help- it is a security that at this time I feel I need.  I could go along and not make any plans leaving a mess yet that does not seem a good thing to do.
I have to see if I can find someone to step in.  Not an easy task – and I get it why no one would want this role.  It is partly about planning what happens when I pass- if arrangements are not made then there is a mess- had that all planned now have to redo it.  Many do not think on these things or if you have a mate or kids you work things out with them. 
Yes I know it is all part of the process I know that Kundalini will take care of me on some level and yet will the K be there when I pass and dispose of the body?  You may ask why would I care?  Have always been one to be organized– we need to plan for the physical body. Surrender in this case is surrendering to allowing the agenda to unfold. 
Am trying to keep a balance here and not go off the deep end with worry – not easy at all.  There are some major changes coming for me and I will be open to those changes.  And plan if I am allowed to.
One finds opportunities for surrender in all aspects of one’s life -

The safety of forgiveness – a caveat...

Sometimes I feel this safety has a cousin called “the safety of acquiescence.”  There are times when there is forgiveness and yet it feels that there is a giving in along with the letting go.  The situation is just too much to deal with and I just want it to be done with.
Have one of those times currently I see where the other is coming from and understand the action by this person.  It was the only way for them to deal with the issue.  However, it is just too much to deal with –and the action affected me in many ways.  I can attempt to do something about it yet why bother?
Letting the other appear to come out on top in their mind anyway allows me to look at the learning there for me.  And I truly do not want people like this in my life.  Ones who think they walk the talk yet are so not doing it.
I readily admit my faults own my actions and behaviors – may not be able to change them at the time yet they are there staring me in my face.  I can not change others or even suggest they have faults – that is their task to learn what they need to work on. In the mean time others suffer as they go about walking in oblivion. 
And I do find it interesting that some Kundalini people in my experience do not have any interest in making up or making amends.  Granted it is only a few yet it speaks volumes to me.  This is an issue I have been grappling with.  Feel as if I am giving in so I can let go… Whatever it takes …

The safety of gratitude...

Just when I feel everyone I know has left pretty much I get a call from a friend asking me to come for xmas dinner.  This is a family I just love they have always been very supportive of me no matter what I get into.  They do not judge or are not critical.  This seems to be so not normal with many.  I used to spend more time with this family and do miss their presence yet this is so nice to be able to be with them on xmas – otherwise I would have been alone. 
I am very happy to be going there – there will be a few others which will be fun.  And I get to bring a dish of food.  Being alone so much I often wonder if I can really be sociable with others.  Will see.
And I will bring all the ladies a towel- really  enjoy making these hanging towels and giving them away.  A small gift yet made with love.
Shakti Kundalini takes and she gives in all ways and always.

The safety of trust and gratitude...

"I promised a miracle? You are a miracle. How can one give a miracle to the miraculous?" – chrism 
Reading this statement gives me such a feeling of joy …For the past 8 years I have trusted chrism’s Kundalini teachings and what he says does resonate with me.  So reading this again feels right – feels true.
As I walk this path there has been a few constants – #1  is that I am eternally grateful for being given this Divine gift – I did not seek it – I did not do all kinds of practices to receive it – I accept it and allow my K to do what it needs to do.  #2 Do not always like what is given yet deep in my heart I know that I can trust my Kundalini and I can trust the teacher that I was sent to.
To know that I am a miracle and to know that I am not alone in this journey ( there is Kundalini and there is my teacher) words cannot express what I feel. 
It is so easy to mouth the words I trust the process… it is a much different issue to actually trust.  I admit I am not totally there – there is this bit of doubt that I am not worthy or good enough to hold this gift yet when I step back AAAHHH  “I am a miracle” remember that eileen “I am a miracle.”  Thank you chrism for the continuing  teachings given by Shakti Kundalini for all of us to learn and to accept that we are that miracle.
Thank you from one miracle to another…

The safety of trust...

“We must be willing to change our lives in the way that the Kundalini is directing us to change our lives. We must trust our Kundalini. We must open to its guidance and open to its wisdom. We must be willing to place our lives and our feelings and our emotions into very specific positions that the Kundalini itself is giving for us to express but what our society may resist. What the programming in our lives and our education may resist. We must trust and take the chance that the Kundalini is offering us a better way.  A way that we cannot think of on our own. These are the ways of the divine natures and they must be respected.”  
                                                              -  chrism
On the radio show last night chrism talked about trusting the Kundalini.  He suggested a mantra of “I trust my Kundalini or I trust the Kundalini” 
I had a dental procedure this morning and I have been very concerned about it.  Last night I began the mantra of “I trust my Kundalni.”  And then again this morning I recited it while waiting and while in the chair.
Sometimes it takes a suggestion by someone who has been there someone who sees things in a different manner.  chrism offers his wisdom with the Kundalini in so many ways.  This was just one.
I am home now with a numb jaw that feels huge and a feeling of being out of it- did not sleep last night had so much going on in my mind and was very anxious.  Am very very tired and will head to bed after this share.
The thought goes thru my head of “why is this happening?”  then I am brought back to the best place for me … I trust my Kundalini.

The safety of movment with a touch of surrender and trust and gratitude…

Am staying at the condo where there is the beautiful pool.  So I went down this morning.  After the procedure yesterday and being on antibiotics for nearly a week and now an over the counter pain pill   I know my body needs some cleaning out and moving.  Am feeling abit “OFF” like not quite there an underlying unease and a dull pain in and around the face where the procedure was.  All normal am sure yet this morning I did wake up feeling rested and good.
While at the pool 2 families with really little kids came down.  Since I tend to talk with everyone I found out the one family lives in the little town where my niece lives.  They don’t know them yet have heard the name. It is indeed a small world.
Am here for the next few weeks I will be going to the pool daily I hope and just allowing my body to heal as well as my soul.  I love being here at the condo – am reminded daily that this is now part of my past.  There are reasons for all agendas I may not like what is given and miss what is given yet in the end it is all for my good. 
It is a constant to remember to surrender, trust and be grateful for all I have.  Am so blessed to have this opportunity to stay in a nice place - there are so many leaving their country with nothing.  I can’t do much for them yet I can send out my joy and happiness that I am blessed. 
Gifting from afar this holiday season.  As K folk seems to me we not only have a responsibility to do service we have a gift that allows us to serve in a very unique manner.  Send a prayer a thought a joyful smile to all in need all over the world.  Sounds like a plan for me this holiday.