Depression long ago...

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The piece below was written by eshakti...(2008).   

Daily the majority of us come in contact with situations that have a negative or adversarial hue.  For some these little incidents cause no hardship just a small blimp in the horizon.  However, for others who see life in a threatening or negative manner, these happenings cause a spiral of feelings into negativity that can cause feelings of depression, frustration and immobility.

It is a matter of the old adage seeing the world as a “glass half full or a glass half empty.”  My view has always been one of the world as a “half full glass.”  All happenings are seen with a negative focus causing me great depression and bad feelings about my life and myself.  I know I allowed this to be the case – I never really could get a grasp on the positive although I tried for many years. 

 

Now with the Kundalini flowing in me, all the events, happenings and incidents and my resulting feelings are amplified.  So I am at a crisis point.  I have been wallowing in myself pity since way before K showed its lovely head.  Yet, now I need to grasp the negative horns of my life and turn them around into a more positive aspect before the K draws me into a state of severe negative feelings of depression and frustration that I will not be able to change.  Some of you have been in the same situation.   

I will attempt to share how I am working toward a more positive look at my life and happenings. 

One situation that is paramount in my mind daily is the feeling that after being out of work for so long that I do not have any skills at all that are worth anything or any good qualities.  That is what being in depression is all about – losing all sense of the good about one’s self.  

 So to help me in this situation it was suggested that I list my positive potentials and then write them out many times.  Here is the list that I came up with :  I will focus on my positive potentials: my education, my k- flow, my organizational qualities, my openness to others, my friendliness, my spirit of adventure, my ability to attract k-folk, my work ethics, my age, my loyalty. 

As I have been writing the above I realized that I could list many other qualities that I have.  And there is a sense of calmness that comes over me as I write out my good qualities.   Can it be this easy to change an attitude?