Living the KAS safeties...by eshakti

The postings below are ways that the KAS safeties can become part of one's life...I was with the KAS program for over 8 years - now I am not part of that program.  KAS and its teacher chrism may be listed in some of these posts.  I have tried to delete KAS teachings yet it is not easy and besides - this was my life and is all part of my process....  I am not going to delete the experiences I have had...all written by eshakti...

The safety of Tolerance…

Today was doing laundry – the people here where I live are all over 62… many in their 80/90’s.  The laundry room is a small area where people tend to chat while waiting.  The lady today was 88 she was into talking so I had to remind myself to listen and let her talk.

It is rather funny to realize exactly what one is doing within a safety.  As we get older some of us do not have family or many friends people here are often stuck in with no way to go anywhere…  listening is a way to make life abit less lonely…

The safety of Surrender...

When the K arrived I was living in a lovely condo with a beautiful view. It felt very much like Florida. My sister and I owned it. With K I lost my job so my sister took over ownership. I still get to stay there at times. Will be staying there for a few weeks in the next months. Whenever I am there I remember my life before the K. I miss it – I miss the condo – the life. Each time as I enjoy being there I renew my surrender to the grace of my Kundalini. Not in a position where I like what happened as yet however each surrender moment brings me closer where full acceptance will arrive. 
Surrender is an ongoing task. It does not happen all in one situation it is a renewal of letting go of expectations. For me it is step by step of accepting my life as it is now in the hands of K. Surrender gives one a freedom to step out of the way and just be. At times I have that feeling of freedom – still working toward a full on feel of freedom…

 The safety of Prayer...

I find when I wake up or when going to bed the Shakti prayer comes to mind.  I always say it 3 times and sometimes 9 times.  If I wake up in the middle of the night the prayer is there.  For me it brings Shakti close…it is one way to keep a constant connection to her.

During the day I find myself talking with her about things sometimes little silly things other times a deeper topic.  This is when my intuition kicks in.  Connections are made and later validated.  Often it feels as if she is taking care of me in a very tangible manner. 

The safety of Forgiveness...

Was sitting in a restaurant and overheard a lady talking about what airlines they fly out of and the boat they have the trips they take.  Here I sit living check to check reminded of the choices I made – not ones that offer any ease or abundance in my life at this point.

Often have to forgive myself for not paying attention for not having the drive that my sisters had for not really thinking about my future.  My family never discussed careers or how to live well and how to save for the future.  We lived check to check for years.  After retirement though things got better for my parents.  Not so for me. 

Yes it is best in  a Kundalini context to surrender to trust to be grateful for where we are in our process.  Yet when I see others doing what I desire well it is not that easy to surrender to trust to be grateful. 

So I work to forgive myself – I made bad choices and am paying for those choices.  Maybe this is my karma playing out—not so much fun at times.

OK forgive and move on…forgive and move on … forgive and move on

The safety of Patience...

When the K arrived the joy was incredible – I did not want it to leave and yet it did.  Sometimes what we want is not what we are given.  At those times one needs to accept the ebb/flow the yes/no knowing that the timeline is not ours it is K’s timeline.

My patience comes and goes.  It is a never ending wave of waiting and then being impatient.  Lets get this show on the road – lets make it happen when what really is needed is Patience –This applies to many issues with the K. 

I know I have spent lifetimes preparing for this gift of grace.  So really why the hurry???  One or two more will not make much difference.

Be patient and the K knows what is needed.  Gotta remind myself of this.

The safety of Trust...

I remember when first encountering the safeties I kept asking “How does one do…Trust – Forgiveness – honesty – etc…?” Others can share how they handle each one yet we all need to find what works for us. 
I have not been diligent with the safeties – I do them for a time then go off to other things… Yet I know they are a good basic platform to the balance needed to walk this path.
The other day was sharing with a friend and we discussed how sometimes doing the safeties does not feel right. There is not much of a connection with certain ones.
She said she had been told once in another situation to fake it til you not only make it but til you “become” it. This to me was one of those A- HA moments. 
I remember when chrism told me when first doing Devotion to do it= follow the others even if it does not” feel” right. Then eventually you will know and feel the devotion. This has been the case.
Yet I really like the idea of not just doing each safety but becoming it – living it – breathing it – seeing it – hearing it – tonally immersing oneself into the essence of each one. It takes a huge leap of faith and trust to walk the K journey. K takes everything changes everything and we lose ourselves as we know ourselves. Living and breathing each safety takes trusting in the K that all is as it should be.

The safety of Honesty...

Being honest with oneself is not easy when K comes calling. All ones negative thoughts, feelings, actions come up and out and can throw one into a tail spin. That has happened to me. Always knew I had issues yet not to the point where it seems my best place is alone and away from others. 
Have been looking at who I am and how I am – know things about myself and am accepting these traits. Once they are identified it may be easier to work on them or let them go.
The safeties are not done in one sitting- it takes time and time again to go over things and to be honest I don’t feel it ever ends… There are always issues to work on until one reaches total immersion with the “one.” 
Working working working…

 The safety of Inner Joy...

Today I met with a KAS member that I have been chatting with for a long time. Kundalini brought us together and meeting was for me like saying hello to an old friend. There was no hesitation – just an openness and sharing that one does not find with some.
My self felt very cared for and blessed that for a few moments I had someone who knew about the K and was open to sharing the daily living with the K. 
Feeling Inner Joy at the same time longing for someone locally to share the process with. Being alone and walking the path alone is necessary however it is wonderful to walk at times with a fellow K person.
Thank you for coming for a visit I do hope we can get together again soon. You are a blessed sacred person and I am so happy to know you.

 The safety of Devotion...

As chrism often writes we here in the west do not really seem to understand “Devotion.”  This may be true for some yet those who are active in a religious organization, a monastery, a spiritual community do know what devotion is and make it part of their way of life.

My upbringing was as a Catholic.  We not only attended mass every Sunday but when I went to the Catholic school mass was every day.  I remember loving the Latin mass.  In 7/8 grade I was one of 4 who sang the mass responses in Latin.  I absolutely loved the music, the words, being in the choir loft in a state of worship.

Had forgotten the feeling had forgotten the love I felt deep within for the Divine, until Devotion was presented to me by chrism.  Had prayed daily had lived walking in love of the Divine and yet Devotion at the feet of a teacher was strange.  It did not take me long before I fell into the arms of the Divine in devotion.

When being devotional I feel I am home – more so when at the feet of my teacher.  This is an honored activity in some cultures.  Devotion within the Kundalini becomes an everyday activity if one surrenders to the process.  chrism has a pic that we refer to as the healing pic.  This is used by some for devotion.  The practice is called Trataka.  One can look at the pic saying a mantra or praying = whatever feels right to you or whatever the teacher directs one to do.. 

When I first started doing the Trataka practice I could not look at the pic without crying.  Then there were times it became more comfortable then at others times the crying comes strong and deep.  The same thing happened when at the feet of my teacher – tears --- copious amounts of tears. I never questioned the tears just accepted them as part of the practice.

chrism also had us listen to a recording that set me into a deep devotional state.  Today when I hear a few chords of that song  my tears begin.  Love the feeling the song brings.

Am very grateful I have experienced devotion within my process.  As chrism suggested fake it til you feel it—it is a wonderful way to surrender to the K process.

The safety of programming...

Have not had issues with this safety as yet.  Remember when I was in CA and chrism and I would go to a movie – it was usually some violent shoot ‘em up show.  Being that I was just in the beginning of my activation often wondered why he would take me to these.  Maybe because I was with him there would be no effect.  And there wasn’t.

Since then I do watch TV shows that have violence and so far have not had any ill effects.  To me they are shows/movies not real.  My dreams have not been affected.  Sometimes when I see things on TV /movies I remind myself that this is a not real and say to myself this is not gonna affect me.  And for the most part I am able to take the pic right out of my minds eye.

At some time there may be some residual I don’t know.  I prefer non violent shows yet I do enjoy the investigative ones – have been known to cover my eyes as I did when a kid so I don’t see the yucky parts.

Have not had many violent dreams only a few that were to date rather mild and the bad parts were about others not me… even had a dream where a huge bat was attached to chrism’s back and he was trying to get it off. 
have no idea how that ended never got the see the ending.

To me the idea is to surround oneself with love and kindness – then there is less chance of things affecting one. If our radiance is one of negativity then that is what will be sent to those around us.

So “keep it clean, nice and loving”  so to speak. 

The safety of service... 

When I describe the KAS program I state that it is based on love and service. chrism is a wonderful role model for this safety. Since around 2006 he has devoted himself to others guiding them in their Kundalini journey.

When I first met chrism my guidance was very strong to support he and the KAS program. My service involved setting up and financing seminars, keeping track of the writings of chrism, posting in support of members, doing whatever I could to further assist chrism and his vision of supporting others. It has been 8 years now since becoming a KAS member. The joy and happiness I have experienced serving others has been beyond anything ever known by me.

At one of the seminars after I received the Shaktipat one of the members saw blue flames coming out of my head. chrism said that it was the Bodhisattva. I looked this up and discovered that a Bodhisattva helps others reach their realization before walking into theirs. All of a sudden there was some meaning for my being with chrism and KAS and my hesitation and reluctance to be too concerned about my journey of K. This may not be the correct definition of a Bodhisattva yet it makes sense to me.

Service is a big deal... huge in the scheme of things. Whatever one gives is received back in abundant ways. That is if the service is given freely and with no expectations. I encourage all to find a service that feels right to you. A smile - opening a door - working with animals - helping with the food programs - sitting in a hospital and allowing your radiance to engulf those in need - being nice when someone is being a jerk... There is no end to what we can do to serve others.

Here on the groups we mention often how one's sharing and stories are a service to others and this is so true. I have been helped over and over by others telling of their journey.

chrism often states to do service to help with the process - it helps for any number of issues... For me it keeps me grounded and sane within the process. No matter what state of mind I am in I continue to do service --- it is a saving grace for me...

The safety of the locks…

The first thing chrism recommends is the tongue up lock (“This completes the cranial circuit allowing excess energy to bleed down the sides of the neck.”  chrism)  By placing the tongue behind the teeth on the fleshy part of the mouth the energy is grounded so the top of the tongue will not be burned.  I found myself doing this all the time and still do.  Sometimes it amazes me that that it is there when I bring my attention to it. 

The finger locks are really a great way to keep the energy flowing in a good manner.  It is suggested that whenever one can keep the lock inplace.  This can be difficult when one is using the fingers yet If you are mindful when sitting or walking when not using the hands you can use the finger lock.

For me it is becoming more and more difficult because of my arthritis.  I have found a way to bring the thumb into my fist that feels really good.  There are other locks that I might be able to do have not tried them as yet.

The eyes up lock is used for meditation.  This lock never felt comfortable for me – chrism always said one gets used to it – I have not.  It gives me an eye  ache and headache.

There are many ways that help with the energy flow.  chrism offers members what they need to keep the energy flowing positiviely.

The safety of recapitulation...

Recapitulation to me is looking at each situation where someone has hurt you and seeing things from their perspective.  Going over what was said, done and all the feelings involved gives one an opportunity to forgive and forget.  This is not done in one sitting usually yet can be done continually and new insights will appear.

When forgiveness is needed it weighs on me and I go over what happened in great detail.  Since moving into a senior apt bldg there are many situations that come before me.  Older folks for the most part are very set in their ways and have no filters when they say things. and oh yes they have opinions on everything even when they have no experience of the situation at hand.  My way of handling this is to keep a distance so I will not react when they go off.  However sometimes I get caught in the web just riding the elevator or walking out the door.

So I go over what happens and try to remember that these folks are old they have lived a long life and yes we all have our idiosyncrasies… Then the next time I encounter any one of these folks I smile – and tell myself to “let it go – let it go – let it go”

And I am forced to remember that I am old – I have to watch how I look at things and not fall into the no filter verbiage. And to remember I can change how I react.

This is just one small aspect of recapitulation.  I am sure others see it much differently but for me – it is an ever ongoing learning task.  You need to find what works for you and do that.  Writing out the situation works for some – I used to do this not any more.  Writing has left for now.

Letting it go and letting it go…

The safety of Movement...

Move that BODY! Move that BODY! By chrism

“Do what you can to move yourself. Dance or run or walk or play with your friends (human and otherwise). Move with your partner and if you dont have one open yourself to having one. Make yourself your partner. Make the Kundalini your partner! Have relations! Have relationship! This IS your exciting and wonderful life. Move that body and move those five bodies and get yourself going!

Have s&x. Have lots of s&x. With "love"" and with "grace". Men contain your fluids, women release your fluids! Create with these divine impulses. Start a project and see it through to completion. Make love with your life. Walk with a confident knowing of the energies swishing and moving through and through you. Move your hips and move your heart.

Walk in loving embrace of your life and feel its force of expression within you. FEEL your love and the love of the divine moving itself through you. Help this movement by stretching your boundaries and moving to the beat of the grace within. - moving with you! “- chrism

I absolutely hate to exercise…except if in water.  When I lived at the condo I would go every day to the pool early and had a routine that moved all my joints then I would come back and do a 20 min yoga program.  That went on for a time as do all things I attempt.

Now there is no pool where I live so the yoga exercise is what is done.  Not all days but most days.

Of course the past few days I was at the condo where I used to live and so the pool was my early morning visit and I will be there about 3 weeks before xmas so I will be hitting the pool daily.  It feels so good to get going but only if it is something I enjoy otherwise exercise is more like torture.

There are public pools that I tend to stay away from because I am not sure how the pool is taken care of. I am so looking forward to my time at the condo at the end of the month.  Am hoping it spurs me on to do the yoga on a more routine basis.

Being older the body starts tightening up and then pain show up and it does not end it is an ongoing situation.  Movement does help with the physical but also with the other five bodies --- mentally, spiritually, emotionally and psychologically.  As chrism says “Walk in loving embrace of your life and feel its force of expression within you.”  Imagine if we all followed that guidance...

The safety of Gratitude...

This safety comes so easily have always known that my life was blessed in ways that often I do not see.  Never had a lot but always had what I needed.  The difference now with the K is that I verbally say and try to show my gratitude.  This for me is done by sending a prayer to Shakti Kundalini when something nice happens even some small thing like finding my keys or when it rains ( love the rain.)  Showing Gratitude can also be in small ways. 

I fractured my knee cap a few years ago.  I could not drive and was on a walker for a long while.  The fact that I can walk around without a walker or a cane gives me a whole lot of ways to show gratitude.  I hold open the door for people, take a friend to the store, sweep down the stairs at the condo, pick up trash when I see it, offer a smile when seeing someone, etc.

Gratitude to me is one of the safeties that can be so much of a service to others.  Working thru gratitude you can offer loving service to others.

The safety of grounding...

Have never had copious amounts of energy so grounding for me has not been an issue.  However I do eat root veges and meat and do my exercises in the nude but am inside. 

The driving for me does take me out of my monkey mind for mindfulness sets in. And exercising with yoga or pool yoga is very helpful for me.

Am very grateful that chrism writes on the ways to live with Kundalini.  If and when my energy kicks in I have some idea of what to do… being in nature seems to work for most.

You can find the article on grounding in the files section of some of the groups.  It can be very helpful.

The safety of gratitude...

Went to the chiropractor for a few issues.  Was told that the numbness tingly feeling in my arm and hand is from a pinched nerve in the upper part of my neck.  This makes sense to me.  He said that if it was not taken care of the muscles in the hand would be affected and it would take a long long time to recover.  Really like this guy he has helped me in a number of ways.

He suggested I come in next week 3 times. I pay a copay for each visit.  When I told him I just cant afford this he said come in anyway you need to get on this.  As much as it pains me not to pay for a service I will be going next week. 

When these things happen it seems to amaze me yet the happen so very often.  I will be giving this dr a basket and a few towels that I make.  There are folks into bartering and this makes so much sense to me…

As I said before gratitude opportunities come one’s way without looking.

Feeling grateful for the gifts of grace that are sent my way.

The safety of Inner Joy...

To chrism…

I find my inner joy when researching the posts and articles of teaching by chrism, reformatting them for publication and finding publishers for these articles. I also find inner joy when matching articles for teachings to the various posts. When reading the archives I often get lost in the teachings. I don’t want to stop- I feel so very honored and humbled to be given the words of Shakti you write.

I find: Forgiveness – Recapitulation - Inner Joy - Honesty - Gratitude - Surrender - Trust - Prayer - Patience – Love - Service - Devotion in all your teachings. I find poetry in all your teachings. I find Shakti in all your teachings. And I find real heart to heart love in all your teachings.

A post revisted…

The safety of Trust...

Some have a direct line to their Kundalini. It can manifest in a number of ways.  For me I find when I sit and write there is a divine connection with my Kundalini.  Sometimes when I write I do not remember what I write as chrism has stated ( he does not remember some of the teachings he writes) for it is his  Kundalini that is guiding him in what he says.

Another way that my Kundalini communicates with me is when I seek KAS teachings to accompany topics or comments by members.  I do not have a photo graphic mind.  My Kundalini guides me to teachings that will help and support others in their process.

This is not something I ask for yet it involves trusting my Kundalini.  Sometimes I just search thru the teachings and things pop out and then I know this is something that is needed to be seen by some members.

With Trust, surrender and devotion one becomes free of having to use the monkey mind to walk this journey.  Sometimes it feels like I am floating along not knowing where it is I am headed.. yet knowing that I am being cared for.

 The safety of Love...

A fella rolled down his window this morn to tell me my tire was nearly flat.  OK so how long can I drive on it?  had an appt so called my mechanic – Oh how I love to say that “My mechanic “  this is a fella who is 70 has had a garage for years has a super reputation and is kind and considerate and does a good job without charging way too much.  He also will take me whenever I have an issue.

I feel he has my back… has for nearly 20 years.  He is conservative with the care of autos he checks. Which I like.

So I went there they put air in my tires –  tires lose air when the weather changes ( it has been cooler of late here ) so any way am all set and was told to bring the car in anytime to have the tires checked.  I am some what paranoid about my tires.  Just got 2 new ones from them.  I try to support them all I can.

So was taking to “my mechanic “and told him how much I tell others about him and how nice he is and he said you are nice too.  Was not looking for a complement. Yet it felt good.

Do we tell others when we like them or when they do something nice?  Have been working on this… with the holidays am making my crocheted towels that I love to make and giving them away to those who have touched me in a special way.

Today gave the chiropractor who is giving me some free care a basket I made and a towel – gave his receptionist a towek the other day.  He was thrilled – she was thrilled and I felt good to be able to offer something tangible yet a kind word can often be enough.

Am gonna round up some donuts ( yes know it is not a good thing for some)  but the mechanics love them… it will be my thank you for the service they give me whenever it is needed.

We who have Kundalini activated have a gift that gives to others without any effort on our part- the radiance that we exude.  Just walking by others or standing by others they are gifted with grace from our Kundalini.  Going the next step and verbally saying something – the Shakti rides the voice as chrism has said… and I don’t think she only rides chrism’s voice- I feel she comes thru all of us when we speak.  Then of course the next step is giving something tangible… that is always fun and just think as chrism has said the Kundalini is sticky- so when you touch an item and then pass it on you are passing on sticky K… how about that? 

So many ways to give and the Kundalini just keeps on giving.

The safety of love...

as seen thru the eyes of another...

Every day an old man pulls up in his big white truck down by the water. He brings food for the gulls. Many cars pull up in the same spot but the gulls know his car and know he is there for them.

It makes me smile to see this old fella giving to the birds. I have not been around animals for a while and I do love the birds. I can feel his joy in giving. Can the feelings of the safeties be shared? Seems to me they can.

The safety of forgiveness...

Yesterday while sitting in an office someone said my name and I looked up to see a lady I had worked with many years.  She actually worked for me and I thought we were friends.  We shared a lot.

When I lost my job we met only once afterwards. After I met chrism we had lunch and she was not happy with my plans to move out to CA – she was very critical which surprised me for she had always been open and non judgmental.  She was Buddhist raised but not really of any religious following. Her response and then lack of contact hurt greatly.

So I see her after 8 years and I felt nothing – absolutely nothing… she was cordial and said I looked good and we chatted –I felt obliged for  my upbringing says “be nice”  so in a detached manner I was..

Have been wondering how I would respond if I encountered someone from that work situation.  Only 2 people from the entire community remained my friends – all the others dropped me.  That was an extreme fragmentation phase for me very painful. 

And yet I had no emotional response and have not dwelled on her or the situation at all.  Just a curious “Well that was strange” 

When the past is brought up it is again a chance for me to forgive… I do not like what happened in the situation and do not like how others walked away yet they had to do what was best for them and I don’t have to let it hold me or have to like it. And I know it was all part of my process – a very painful part – time can heal some wounds and time and understanding for me makes it abit easier to distance myself from the activation phase.

Forgiveness is an ongoing safety that seems to pop up in so many places…from the past hurts to the present lack of funds to the loss of people and the feelings of aloneness… all opportunities to walk the safety of forgiveness…

The safety of compassion – a form of love...

Keep coming across behaciors that I feel would be good safety traits like compassion.  Although compassion is a form of love truly.

There is a lady in my bldg that is really nice – we hit it off as so often happens and we enjoy discussing all topics openily and honestly.  She has less $ than I do so often I offer to take her to lunch or other places with out expectation of repay.  She doe not like that at all. We come from a generation where people pay their own way and if given a gift usually will want to return a gift.

So I don’t offer much because ti makes her uncomfortable however I enjoy company get so tired of always being alone when I go out.

Today I asked her to lunch and told her I don’t want a repay just share some time with me.  She is still not able to do this. So she came up with wanting to make me a Korean bear.  She loves anything about Korea and there is a bear apparently that is traditionally given I believe for special events.  Anyhow I said I really do not need anything but my niece is having a baby so maybe you could make one for her.  So there we go – I paid for her lunch and she is making a gift for my niece.

Many old folks do not have much $ to do anything extra.  I don’t have much yet seem to have abit more than some.  And I don’t mind sharing. To me it is about showing compassion showing love of others by sharing what I have. 

It took me a long time to be able to accept gifts from others because of the” I pay my way attitude.”  Now I will accept gifts and do not feel that I need always to repay.  Sometimes people need to give – I have pointed this out to chrism a few times.  Sometimes it is hard for him to accept gifts and I say perhaps others need to give to you so by not accepting you are not allowing others to do what they have a need to do- to give to serve.

Living to me in this reality is a give/take and we all need to allow others to follow their process guidance.  Just my thoughts here. 

Did enjoy the sharing today and will surely enjoy the bear.

The safety of surrender...

Have mentioned I feel I am In another fragmentation phase of the process.  Everything is changing and everyone seems to be leaving on their own or I am being directed to leave them out of my life.  Have had a person that I have been depending on when there was an issue or I needed some help.  That person just told me that they will no longer be there for me.

OK- that is a big shocker… now I have no one as back up no one to ask for help.   Don’t know how others feel yet being I am in the older state of life I would really like to know there is someone who has my back and if something happened to me then they would step in and help- it is a security that at this time I feel I need.  I could go along and not make any plans leaving a mess yet that does not seem a good thing to do.

I have to see if I can find someone to step in.  Not an easy task – and I get it why no one would want this role.  It is partly about planning what happens when I pass- if arrangements are not made then there is a mess- had that all planned now have to redo it.  Many do not think on these things or if you have a mate or kids you work things out with them. 

Yes I know it is all part of the process I know that Kundalini will take care of me on some level and yet will the K be there when I pass and dispose of the body?  You may ask why would I care?  Have always been one to be organized– we need to plan for the physical body. Surrender in this case is surrendering to allowing the agenda to unfold. 

Am trying to keep a balance here and not go off the deep end with worry – not easy at all.  There are some major changes coming for me and I will be open to those changes.  And plan if I am allowed to.

One finds opportunities for surrender in all aspects of one’s life -

The safety of forgiveness – a caveat...

Sometimes I feel this safety has a cousin called “the safety of acquiescence.”  There are times when there is forgiveness and yet it feels that there is a giving in along with the letting go.  The situation is just too much to deal with and I just want it to be done with.

Have one of those times currently I see where the other is coming from and understand the action by this person.  It was the only way for them to deal with the issue.  However, it is just too much to deal with –and the action affected me in many ways.  I can attempt to do something about it yet why bother?

Letting the other appear to come out on top in their mind anyway allows me to look at the learning there for me.  And I truly do not want people like this in my life.  Ones who think they walk the talk yet are so not doing it.

I readily admit my faults own my actions and behaviors – may not be able to change them at the time yet they are there staring me in my face.  I can not change others or even suggest they have faults – that is their task to learn what they need to work on. In the mean time others suffer as they go about walking in oblivion. 

And I do find it interesting that some Kundalini people in my experience do not have any interest in making up or making amends.  Granted it is only a few yet it speaks volumes to me.  This is an issue I have been grappling with.  Feel as if I am giving in so I can let go… Whatever it takes …

The safety of gratitude...

Just when I feel everyone I know has left pretty much I get a call from a friend asking me to come for xmas dinner.  This is a family I just love they have always been very supportive of me no matter what I get into.  They do not judge or are not critical.  This seems to be so not normal with many.  I used to spend more time with this family and do miss their presence yet this is so nice to be able to be with them on xmas – otherwise I would have been alone. 

I am very happy to be going there – there will be a few others which will be fun.  And I get to bring a dish of food.  Being alone so much I often wonder if I can really be sociable with others.  Will see.

And I will bring all the ladies a towel- really  enjoy making these hanging towels and giving them away.  A small gift yet made with love.

Shakti Kundalini takes and she gives in all ways and always.

The safety of trust and gratitude...

"I promised a miracle? You are a miracle. How can one give a miracle to the miraculous?" – chrism 

Reading this statement gives me such a feeling of joy …For the past 8 years I have trusted chrism’s Kundalini teachings and what he says does resonate with me.  So reading this again feels right – feels true.

As I walk this path there has been a few constants – #1  is that I am eternally grateful for being given this Divine gift – I did not seek it – I did not do all kinds of practices to receive it – I accept it and allow my K to do what it needs to do.  #2 Do not always like what is given yet deep in my heart I know that I can trust my Kundalini and I can trust the teacher that I was sent to.

To know that I am a miracle and to know that I am not alone in this journey ( there is Kundalini and there is my teacher) words cannot express what I feel. 

It is so easy to mouth the words I trust the process… it is a much different issue to actually trust.  I admit I am not totally there – there is this bit of doubt that I am not worthy or good enough to hold this gift yet when I step back AAAHHH  “I am a miracle” remember that eileen “I am a miracle.”  Thank you chrism for the continuing  teachings given by Shakti Kundalini for all of us to learn and to accept that we are that miracle.

Thank you from one miracle to another…

The safety of trust...

“We must be willing to change our lives in the way that the Kundalini is directing us to change our lives. We must trust our Kundalini. We must open to its guidance and open to its wisdom. We must be willing to place our lives and our feelings and our emotions into very specific positions that the Kundalini itself is giving for us to express but what our society may resist. What the programming in our lives and our education may resist. We must trust and take the chance that the Kundalini is offering us a better way.  A way that we cannot think of on our own. These are the ways of the divine natures and they must be respected.”  

                                                              -  chrism

On the radio show last night chrism talked about trusting the Kundalini.  He suggested a mantra of “I trust my Kundalini or I trust the Kundalini” 

I had a dental procedure this morning and I have been very concerned about it.  Last night I began the mantra of “I trust my Kundalni.”  And then again this morning I recited it while waiting and while in the chair.

Sometimes it takes a suggestion by someone who has been there someone who sees things in a different manner.  chrism offers his wisdom with the Kundalini in so many ways.  This was just one.

I am home now with a numb jaw that feels huge and a feeling of being out of it- did not sleep last night had so much going on in my mind and was very anxious.  Am very very tired and will head to bed after this share.

The thought goes thru my head of “why is this happening?”  then I am brought back to the best place for me … I trust my Kundalini.

The safety of movment with a touch of surrender and trust and gratitude…

Am staying at the condo where there is the beautiful pool.  So I went down this morning.  After the procedure yesterday and being on antibiotics for nearly a week and now an over the counter pain pill   I know my body needs some cleaning out and moving.  Am feeling abit “OFF” like not quite there an underlying unease and a dull pain in and around the face where the procedure was.  All normal am sure yet this morning I did wake up feeling rested and good.

While at the pool 2 families with really little kids came down.  Since I tend to talk with everyone I found out the one family lives in the little town where my niece lives.  They don’t know them yet have heard the name. It is indeed a small world.

Am here for the next few weeks I will be going to the pool daily I hope and just allowing my body to heal as well as my soul.  I love being here at the condo – am reminded daily that this is now part of my past.  There are reasons for all agendas I may not like what is given and miss what is given yet in the end it is all for my good. 

It is a constant to remember to surrender, trust and be grateful for all I have.  Am so blessed to have this opportunity to stay in a nice place - there are so many leaving their country with nothing.  I can’t do much for them yet I can send out my joy and happiness that I am blessed. 

Gifting from afar this holiday season.  As K folk seems to me we not only have a responsibility to do service we have a gift that allows us to serve in a very unique manner.  Send a prayer a thought a joyful smile to all in need all over the world.  Sounds like a plan for me this holiday.